Living with addiction is stressful, chaotic, and scary
If you’re in a relationship with someone that has a problem with addiction, you’re probably feeling angry, overwhelmed, afraid, and alone. You may have tried to help, cajole, and control your partner to manage their addiction, but it’s just left you feeling exhausted and resentful. Perhaps you’re in a 12-step group like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, or CODA, but find that it isn’t really working for you, or that you’re looking for something more.
Well, you’re in the right place – I help people just like you. I know how addiction impacts families, not just on a professional level, but on a personal one – alcoholism has been a problem in my family for multiple generations. I’ve seen it ruin relationships, cause financial chaos, and even lead to jail or prison time. I know how growing up around addiction affects your view of ‘normal’ and the choices you make in a way that leads to anger, unhappiness, and depression. I also know how to change that and to help others do the same. I’ll help you learn how to make changes that will help you lessen the chaos of living with addiction and find more peace and serenity.
Why wouldn’t you be angry?
No doubt you’ve tried to be understanding, patient, helpful & supportive. Most likely, it hasn’t done any good – and that’s left you angry and resentful. You’ve made a lot of effort to be a loving partner and gotten little, if anything, in return. Unfortunately, that anger can just make things worse, as you’ve probably seen, since it often triggers defensiveness and shame in your partner. I can help you learn how to manage your anger and resentment and use it in a productive way.
It’s hard enough handling your own ‘stuff’ in our crazy world
These days, it seems like everyone is overwhelmed and stressed out, right? I’m sure you have plenty of things to take care of in managing your own life – job, kids, helping manage a household. When you’re trying to handle the things your partner doesn’t and limit the impact of their addiction too, it’s little wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed. The answer isn’t learning how to do more or work faster. In counseling, you’ll learn how to handle these feelings and make the tough choices you’ll need to in order to get through your days successfully.
It’s normal to be scared
Fear can be a very controlling force in our lives. Often, people who are in a relationship with someone struggling with addiction fear that taking action may lead to the relationship ending or other negative changes, possibly catastrophic ones.
That said, I have a question for you. What’s scarier: that things will change, or that they won’t?
Unfortunately, there’s no way out of this without facing some fear and discomfort. Fortunately, you don’t have to walk this scary and challenging road alone. I’ll be there to support you and teach you new tools to help you get through the darkness.
Living with addiction is very lonely
Often, families struggling with addiction feel lonely and isolated. Feelings of shame keep us from reaching out or sharing our stories. Unfortunately, this just makes things worse. The confidential environment of my counseling office provides a space where you can openly talk about your feelings and experiences without fear of judgement. You’ll also learn how to identify ‘safe’ people to talk to and to build deeper levels of emotional intimacy with those safe people – giving you more support and the personal connections that we all need to feel happy.
You can change things, whether or not your partner is ready to change
Yes, your partner’s addictive behavior is a problem, and changing that behavior would make a big difference for you and your family. However, if they aren’t ready to begin working on their recovery, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck. There are things you can do on your own that will not only help you to find peace in the midst of the chaos, but also help encourage and support your partner in moving towards their recovery – and when they are ready, they can join in the process of recovery and healing.
Are you ready to stop hurting and start healing? Don’t keep fighting this battle alone. Learn more about me, my beliefs, and how I work with clients. Then, get in touch and I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have or to set up an appointment to get started.
