Ever decided you were going to make a big change in your life, put together a plan that you were all fired up about initially, but ended up feeling like a failure after a few weeks? All too often, the initial rush of adrenaline when we think about and begin a new ‘personal project’ such as losing weight, improving a relationship, or changing careers turns into frustration, disappointment,and maybe even self-criticism when we hit roadblocks, frequently leading to the project ‘failing’.  Fixing this is easier than you may think – read on to learn how.

Here’s my process for implementing change in your life:

1) Determine your end goal.  When you’ve achieved that goal, what will be different?  What will be the quantifiable evidence that the goal is achieved?  Maybe it’s exercising four times a week, attending at least two networking events a month, or doing something nice for your spouse twice a week. Make it specific, quantifiable, and measurable.

2) Connect that goal to something meaningful for you.  For example – it will be easier to lose 20 pounds if you value physical health and well-being and regularly make the effort to consciously connect your change process and goal to that value.

3) Assess where you are today as it relates to that goal.  This may be easier said than done – getting honest with ourselves is often uncomfortable.  It’s important to remember that where you are today is only temporary, not permanent, and that you are capable of change. This step is critical – skipping it will almost certainly result in failure along the way.

4) Break down the gap between where you are and where you want to be into a series of discrete, small steps or sub-goals.  Write those down.  You’re better off making the steps too small than too big.  This will be the ‘roadmap’ for your change project. You might even want to write each interim goal down on a separate 3×5 card or something similar.

5) Define a process that will get you moving towards that first goal. Establish a regular day and time to engage in that process – the more specific, the better!  Keep going until you’ve achieved the first sub-goal. Don’t worry about how quickly you get there, focus on repeating your process.  If you are headed in the right direction and keep moving, you’ll get to your destination!

6) Once the first sub-goal is complete, repeat for the next one.  Continue moving forward, one step at a time until you’ve achieved your end goal.

That’s it! Patience and persistence will go a long way towards supporting success, as will accepting the fact that you may ‘slip’ along the way. If that happens, just acknowledge it and get back to the process – don’t fall into the trap of self-criticism, which has killed many a self-improvement project. Instead, adopt the 12-step motto of ‘progress, not perfection’. Another  way to help achieve success with this process is using an ‘accountability partner’ – a friend or colleague who can help you stay ‘on task’.  This can be especially useful if you are both engaged in a similar project, as you can help support each other through the challenges you experience along the way.

What has gotten in the way of your attempts to change or grow? How have you had success in changing? Let me know in the comments!