(This was originally posted on ‘Happy Now, Sad Later’ a couple of years back. It may be even more relevant now than it was then. This version is revised.)

Really, I mean it. Have we become so used to and so self-righteous about our ‘right’ to pleasurable feelings that we’ve lost sight not only of our ability to tolerate discomfort, but also the benefits that might come from pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zone?

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not some Luddite advocating that we ditch all our technology and labor-saving devices.  Any of my clients and friends can tell you I’m a pretty heavy user of technology. I do think we live in an amazing time, and I really am grateful that I am one of the beneficiaries of the advances we’ve made. However, I think all those advances have played a part in building the cultural mentality that everything should be quick, easy, and cheap … which just isn’t reality.

Every choice we make has a trade-off. The choice to consistently take the ‘easy route’ has the trade-off of weakening us. It’s easy to see how this happens on a physical level – just ask anyone who’s maintained a regular exercise program and then stopped it. It’s not as obvious, but this happens on a mental and an emotional level too.

While there’s a time and a place for relaxing and taking it easy, it’s also important to push yourself beyond your comfort zone sometimes. There’s a lot of research indicating that alternating between exertion and recovery is key to growth (not just with physical training, but also for emotional, mental, and spiritual growth).  In the moment, this effort rarely feels good – the good feelings come later, when you see the growth that results from your efforts.

Pushing yourself can be challenging and scary – and sometimes, it may not play out the way you’d like. However, discomfort is a necessary component of growth, and it’s something you’ll have to work through if you want to find deeper connection in your relationships and more excitement in your life. How and where can you stretch yourself in your life and relationships … even just a little bit? What happens when you do?